Catchyouup...

That's how Maddy says ketchup now. It's cute as hell. There's been a lot of things going on lately and I haven't really been writing. Lots of family trauma and drama. All I can say is, "Let the healing begin." More than ever, I realize that I can't feel better without my family. I went on a short trip to my sister's. It was good to see everyone and I love them all to death, but I missed my own family more than I ever thought I would. Thankfully, I was busy most of the time. I literally got homesick on the last day and drove home with a fever, fatigue and achiness.

On a happier note, (and knock on wood) our immediate family is in relatively good health and our spirits are staying strong amidst the tumult. We have our down times (especially me), but they never last too long, thankfully. I think I snap out of it because of the realization that aside from some of the terrible stuff that has happened recently that I have absolutely no control over, that my own personal life is amazing and I know I'm blessed with family and friends.

This catchup is brief because I have a two year, nine month old gorgeous daughter who wants me to watch "Stuart Little" with her, although I want to mention some of the other cute things she's been saying lately:

"Actually..." (for a while she would say, "Actually, Aladdin's a girl.")
"I've had a wonderful time."
"Probably."
"Maybe."
"Beautiful."
"We'll see."
"Hello, my baby."
"Wanna go look at kitty cats?"
"Buzzy." calls from her room after she wakes up.
"No, just _____."

Most of those she got from us. The first one, we're not sure where it came from. I assume Aladdin, since she's been obsessed with that movie for over a month (thanks, aunt cuckoo).

She's also into Little Einstein's and Mickey Mouse Club House, looking at kitty cats with Daddad.

Luckily, Sasa is doing fairly well. His blood sugars are pretty stable (but a little higher than I want them to be) His grades are all Cs or better and he's still my boy and the older he gets, the more we relate and talk about weighty subjects (run-on much?). A couple of weeks ago, we had a long conversation about death (brought on by thinking of Uncle David's death and fearing the death of his own parents, and most likely himself). He asked me what I thought happened after we die and I told him basically that I don't know, but I want to assume that in some capacity I am going to feel the people that I love. I pray that there is some sort of physical memory that transcends time, space, dimensions. I can't believe this would be all for nothing. That's where the fear stems from.

I'm so glad he feels comfortable with me. He tells me things he would tell nobody. I'm glad that we have the kind of relationship we do. Some people say that your kids can't be your friends, but what else could they be. It's not like you can't establish boundaries in a friendship. Anyone I love, want to spend time with and miss when they are gone, I consider a friend. He is definitely one of the best ones I have.

Now to the best ever...I love you. Thank you for this life.