Time is like a roll of toilet paper...the kids are growing up so fast. My son's almost in high school and my daughter's almost out of diapers (hopefully?). I look forward to every age with my kids. I know there'll always be something unexpected, delightful and horrifying.

I like to live with blinders on, but when I happened upon a conversation my son was having with his cousin, I was blind-sided. I heard my son call my nephew "nutless." And in response, my nephew told my son that he had a small "d*ck." His retort was, "Well, at least I have one." I have to admit, once I caught my breath from being appalled, I was kind of proud of my son's comeback.

I know that every kid experiments with the peer vernacular, and my impressionable son's no exception. I know there are worse things he could be doing at the age of thirteen. I also remember my friend Chrissy teaching me how to flip someone off, demonstrating this skill on Candice Scoville at the age of 11. I also remember lacking the coordination to keep the index and ring finger in a prostrate position, so I pinned them down with my left hand, completely embarrassing Chrissy and obliterating what little street cred she had in her neighborhood. So, he could be doing worse.

Maddy's vocabulary, on the other hand, has been a little more lovely and lilting. She sprinkles "my mama" and "my daddy" on the end of her sentences. It's so darling the way her little voice peaks on the second syllable of mama. I really would like to think she does it out of love, but in all honesty, I think she figured out how to work the system. You catch more bees with honey. This bee's all about the honey...I fall for it everytime, a willing victim to her manipulation.

I love you all...